STOP PRESS! SANTA IN TRAIN WRECK !

News Just to hand, Santa was found today trapped in the Locomotive Cabin of his Christmas Express Train.

SEND HELP!

Suspect caught on camera earlier ?

Internet scammer and my response....

An internet scam got through the "filter" today so I read it and responded... as follows

From Mrs.Asiyah Ahmed Hassanal Bolkiah
Royal Family of King Haji Omar Ali Sadul Khairi
of Brunei Darussalam.

GOOD DAY,My dear, Please read very carefully, It is with tears that I am writing this message to you from a hospital bed far away from my home where I have no mother,father, sister , brother or any relative, in the mist of strangers with a diffrent language that I don't understand, imaging how painful it is being a cancer patient, Firstly let me introduce myself to you.

I am Mrs.Asiyah Ahmed Hassanal Bolkiah, a widow to Late Sheik Ahmed Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei Darussalam, I am 45years old and I have a son of 16years of age who is at the moment in Benin Republic and I am suffering from cancer of the lungs which I will soon undergo the operation, I want to also let you know that I am writing you this mail from a private hospital here where I am taking my part-time treatments, what will you do if your doctor come up and tell you that you have only few weeks to live? you can imagine the kind of pains I am going through.

My husband is the first Son to the last wife of King Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sadul Khairi Waddien, the former Prime minister of Brunei Darussalam, the tiny oil-rich country on the Island in South-Eastern Asia,let me save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my Husband and his step-brother, the sultan of Brunei H.M.Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah who is the present King/prime minister of Brunei.

As you may know from the international media, the sultan of Brunei accused my husband who is his step-brother for financial mismanagement and impropriety of US$14.8 billion dollars and this was as a result of the Asian Financial crisis that made my husband's company Amedeo Development Company that was inherited by my husband and government owned Brunei investment company to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in the office.
However my my husband was kept under house arrest by his own step brother, our bank accounts and private properties including a crude oil export refinery were later confiscated by the sultan and to worsen the whole thing, he has to assassinate my beloved husband and I was placed under house arrest by the sultan so that I will not tell the international community what has happened and that is where I developed this cancer of the lungs which is killing me now but I still believe that it is the will of God that life treat me this way.

To avoid further prosecution and sufferings from the sultan and his security operatives since I have lost my husband and I have my only child to keep me happy, I decided to leave my country Brunei to Benin Republic in West Africa where my husband has deposited the sum of ( US$15 Million Dollars) in a reputable bank but unfortunately for me this my illness has became worst and I have been placed at the hospital for medical attention here, so I am planing to fly to abroad for good medication and a perfect surgical operation because according to what my doctor told me that I may not live for more than a month without this operation,I am so scared about this because she has made me understand that I have only 20% chance to survive this surgery and for that reason, I want to make a future for my only son before undergoing this surgery so that even if I die on the process of this surgery, my son will be taken care of by you.

The reason why I am contacting you is to know if you can arrange for a better hospital over there so that I can come there for a better surgery and aslo to know if you can take care of my son when I will be undergoing this surgery, I have decided to give you this sum of (US$ 15 Milion) that I inherited from my late husband so that you can invest it in a very lucrative business in your country, we never can tell what will happen during the surgery, so that in case if anything happen to me during this operation, my son will have someone to take care of him and a business/funds to inherit for a good future or if this surgery goes well, I will have a business that I can use to take care of my only son.

Please note that this fund is lying with a reputable Bank here in Benin Republic of West Africa and as I am writing this message to you from a hospital Bed, I am not sure that I will survive this operation but even if I have to die, first I want to secure a future for my only son. You may ask yourself why am I saying all this but I believe you never experience this kind of problem either have you meet anyone in this kind of situation,have you ever use a lap-top in the hospital to write a letter to a stranger for help? from a foreign land where you have no father, mother or anyone who can help you? In the mist of people that speak entirely different language? when all the people you trust become the people after your life? well, you may not understand but I want you to take this more serious and urgently important.

All I WANT FROM YOU IS TO TAKE THE MONEY WITH MY SON AND INVEST IT SO THAT YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF MY SON IF I DID NOT SURVIVE THIS. please get back to me very fast so that I can tell you what to do because my days now is being numberred. May the peace of God be with you.


Regards,
Mrs.Asiyah Ahmed Hassanal Bolkiah


And my response....

Dear Asiyah

I am very sorry to hear of your illness, but unfortunately the medical system here in Australia is *overloaded*, and I would not recommend you come to this country for treatment. Australian citizens are dying in their hundreds waiting for a hospital bed for life saving operations. Perhaps if you were to make a sizable donation to one of the Australian Hospitals instead then you may have a better chance here! or better still try a country with a better run Health System....

Once again sorry to hear you are ill, and hope you get the operation you need. Good Luck!

Cecil


(Now, sometimes when (if) I respond to these things (and its always tongue in cheek) I get a reply (they don't get my sarcasm) so if I get a response to this I will post it.)

cheers Cecil

and here it is...

Dear Cecil,

Thank you having good interest to help me and my only son, first I will want to assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free and the fund in question belongs to me and my husband before my husband was killed by the King of my nation and after the killing of my beloved husband I escape from my country to Benin Republic where me and my husband deposited the fund in question.

The deposit document of this fund is made in my name and is still with me to prove my legitimate in this transaction I will make this document available to you as soon as I receive the bellow information from you.

1 Telephone and fax
2 Occupation or name of your company
3 Age/ Full Name
4 Home and office address

I will also like to inform you that according to the doctor my chance to survive after sugary is 50/50 and that is why I will want you to make sure my son Ali is well taking care of even if I did not make it after the sugary operation. Thank you for your understanding.

I await your reply with understanding

Mrs Asiyah Ahmed

hmmmm, seems we have forgotten how to spell surgery since our first email..... but then again a sugary operation may have something to do with diabetes?

....more



Dear Cecil may the paece of GOD ALLAH be with you,
Please i am directing this latter of reminder to you regarding the massage i sent to you on last sunday please comfirm to me if you received it as i have not heard from you since.
thanks
mrs.asiyah ahmed

Allah now? hmmm
....a latter? ....and a massage? (sounding more like Peter Sellers)

...perhaps I should give them some details....like
Cecil Pitts age 47
Internet Fraud Squad
and the Phone no of the local cop shop...he he !

(Q. if her Son is 16yrs old, why is she so worried about him?, He's probably more than capable of fending for himself!....struth! , they marry them off earlier than that over there don't they?)

Cecil

vehicle signage

Signs on back of vehicles and what they could mean......

"Caution, May Reverse at any Time", ....truck owner cannot afford gearbox repairs?

"Caution, Vehicle Frequently Stopping", ....I need a mechanic!

"You are passing another Fox", ....Lindsay Fox bought underpowered trucks?

"If you cannot see my mirrors, I cannot see you" ....Like I check my mirrors, Ha!


There's bound to be more......

Jack is off his Perch?

Mike's budgie, Jack, is getting on in years for a budgerigar. At around 9 1/2 years old, he is at the "average life expectancy" for a bird of his species.
Of late the 'ol bird has seemingly been losing his balance / grip occasionally, and getting in a right "flap" when trying to extricate himself from being stuck upside down between his feed tray and the cage! I've had to rescue him a couple of times, reaching in and freeing him from his predicament before he flapped himself into heart failure! As tame as he is , the poor old fart is still a bit wary of being handled and sits quietly for a while contemplating the proceedings just past...seemingly in shock..
How much of this can he take?....don't really know...
We have been preparing Mike for the inevitable, telling him he's had a good innings and he's getting old now, and one day he'll be dead in the bottom of his cage. (tell 'em straight I reckon!)
But I feel deep down he is a survivor and he may bat on for some years yet, as he recovered quite unexpectedly from a traumatic incident years ago that we all thought he wouldn't recover from, where he was "drying out" after a "bath" in his cage on the trampoline and one of the dogs got a bit curious and knocked it off to the ground and tried to maul him through the bars...he lost some of his larger wing feathers and was very subdued and quiet for weeks and weeks, but slowly he came back, got active again, and started talking to us again.
(14 or 15 years is not unheard of for a Budgie and the record is around 20)
If we are lucky he should see a few more yet....Go Jack!

Doing our bit for the hole in the ozozne layer.....

Still another set of lights to go up yet..........

The other blog...

I am going to try to do more regular updates on my Vegemite blog. "Vegemite and the Dark Side of the Moon", as it has been dormant for some time...any photos or input would be appreciated.

Cecil

The air in Japan?

I was driving behind a Nissan Patrol the other day ( yeah, bad luck eh!) and noticed the sticker on the rear window "Genuine Nissan Air".....lovely thought...they must install a canister of air captured from some Japanese cherry orchard on a crisp spring morn and have a button somewhere so you can release it when the smog is just too much to bear.....
BUT
then i thought ...no it's probably a warning! those tyres have been filled with Japanese air at the factory in Japan so if you get a flat, you should probably call the EPA 'cause who knows what was in that air when it was pumped in! I mean we all know Horse Flu is rife over there, the wind could have been blowing from a racecourse over the Nissan factory that day and captured the Flu spores right into those tyres....
Thanks Nissan...how responsible of you!